I used to roll my eyes at watercooler conversations that moved over the years from Big Brother to Love Island, and now apparently to The Traitors. It isn’t physically painful, it is just exhausting and despite there being new shows, listening to the topic of mainstream reality tv sounds always the same. It feels for my monotropic brain (a mind wired to channel its energy into one deep, meaningful tunnel of focus at a time) like being on a rollercoaster where one knows parts of the tracks are missing. It feels like incredibly hard work.
I’ve always preferred to get straight to the things that actually feel like something. It’s why therapeutic work feels so entirely different – it occupies a space of depth where I feel comfortable.
I experienced a rare moment of this clarity recently at an eyebrow bar. I’d rather face the literal hot wax on my skin than the standard, superficial small talk that usually comes with beauty treatments. But the person waxing my brows mentioned she was currently studying to become a nurse. The conversation instantly shifted. We talked about how nursing felt so much more meaningful to her (I shared how I completely understood the amazing difference you can make in another person’s life). Connecting on that level of purpose mattered infinitely more to me than a surface discussion about making someone look pretty.
I usually absolutely hate being hugged, especially by strangers. But when we finished, she spontaneously hugged me goodbye… and to my surprise, I actually enjoyed it! The physical contact felt safe because the connection had been real.
Read more about my neurodivergent affirming counselling.